From the desk of Alex Manthei

I remember Bissingen

I learnt to whistle in that church
the girl whose father lost his hand
laughed at how I made my mouth

like an ö

he thought I was trying to kiss her
under the Queen of Heaven

Franzi
that was her name
Na, Baba, i bring eam’s Pfeifa bei!
she said grinning with her eyes

Kuck her, Bazi
he leaned in close
his hand missing on my shoulder

like an ü
he showed me

kicher kicher kicher-cher
Franzi and I would whistle
Rosamunde
gathering kindle for the baker’s fire

he always wanted a tune

in return
he gave us our daily milk and Kipferl
if you soaked it
it didn’t taste like yesterday’s bread

Arizona

lesion on the side
unlikely the doc says
where the sun exposure is

I have to explain I’m from Arizona
childhood of aloe vera
Elmer’s glue and sarsaparilla

we have our local remedies
to burns and cactus needles
root beer medicine

cimarrona y soda helada
yerbas mexicanas y novenas
the SPF can’t be high enough

our skin against a star can’t help
but blush

Her little hands, her spiky hair

I want to remember this forever
the photo you sent me says

I’ve just soothed her to sleep
and as her eyes closed
the immeasurable softness of her hand
slipped from mine
until it slowly fell to her side

for a moment I thought her still
until I realized she was gripping the air
as if searching to squeeze my hand again

in that moment I felt missed
a foreboding precursor that took all my self-restraint
not to wake her with a kiss
firmly planted on her spiky hair

I cook French onion soup

losing count of how many onions I put in
eating croutons as I go along
drinking wine as I go along

you ask me to turn the fan up
so I open a window too

the garlic isn’t thin enough
we have no gruyere
but if you don’t tell the French
I used smoked cheddar
I won’t either

we eat the soup over puzzle pieces
we’ve had strewn on the table for days
and try not to spill

Yawn little one

you give it everything you know how to give
and for a moment that’s not sleep
you close your eyes

your mouth open with a scream
that does not sound

freezing what you must know of time
before a fart surprises your eyes open
and you smile